Q: How many Masons does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three. One to screw it in, one to read the minutes of the previous light bulb replacement, and one to sit on the sidelines and complain that this wasn’t the way they USED to screw in light bulbs.


A Candidate for initiation was to be picked up and driven to the Lodge, but before this could happen the car broke down. The Candidate said as it was no great distance he would go on his bicycle.

 Just when he reached the top of the hill his chain broke. As the Lodge was at the bottom of the other side and all he needed was a backpedal brake, so he repaired the chain with a cord he had in his pocket and free–wheeled downhill to the Lodge.

Later that evening in reply to a toast in his honor, he said how proud he was to be a Freemason but could not understand, as he had told no one, how the WM knew that he had come on his own free wheel and a cord.


A small lodge had a rodent problem. They had tried all sorts of way to rid themselves of the rats and mice with traps, poisons, and exterminators.

They were at wits end, but when the members arrived at the next meeting, the vermin were all gone.

When asked what happened, the Master said he held a Master Mason degree for all the rats and mice, raised them to the Sublime Degree of Master Mason and hadn’t seen one of them since.